Why Your Big Dreams AND Small Dreams Matter

We all have big dreams and small dreams.

Some of us are taught that big dreams are unrealistic, egotistical or impossible. We are encouraged to stay in our comfort zones, be conservative and not risk our safety in this life!

And then some of us are taught that small dreams are unimpressive, unimportant or boring. We are told to strive for massive riches, success, status, creativity, humanitarianism or heroism.

As a result, some never let their big dreams see the light of day AND some never enjoy the value of small dreams…

When someone has abandoned their dreams or when someone cannot connect to their dreams, it is due to some type of “Dream Disillusionment”.

There is either a deep doubt in life’s ability to meet your visions and/or a deep doubt in your own abilities. There may be wounds about the nature of this Existence or the nature of your Self. There may be beliefs that Life is just one big disappointment so it’s best not to dream at all.

When I was in grade 4, I had a small idea to create a detective club and I gave out badges to those who “solved a mystery”. Then I had a small dream that we could raise money as a class and travel to Florida together as an “adventure detective club”. (This was well before the concept of crowdfunding became known and well before the internet was accessible.) Alas, I was shot down before I could even begin. I soon realized that many of my ideas would not be supported by certain authority figures in my life and I would be punished for “causing trouble”.

Dream Disillusionment affects most of us at some point or other. We all have had failures, losses and struggles that left us disillusioned for a time. During those days, weeks, months or even years, we may feel like a shadow of our true selves. We may walk around like zombies, just going through the motions of living or just doing enough to survive.

Even those who are following their dreams or materializing their goals, have felt doubtful or even despairing during times of challenge. There are times when we question everything and we have huge doubts or fears. We feel like giving up because things just don’t seem to be working out despite all our best efforts. At the darkest times, we can become very cynical and decide that dreaming is for those who are naive or narcissistic.

Even if we don’t give up, we may feel very lost and confused about what we truly want. Our dreams often get over-analyzed, dissected and then re-packaged into more sterile or “realistic” forms. Sometimes, they can go the opposite direction – they become ever more extravagant or complicated. Or, we may feel estranged from our dreams as they seem to allude us.

The key is to look beyond the form of the dream and find its essence.

What I had actually wanted from that trip to Florida was the experience of group friendship AND the values of true belonging, fun and understanding. I yearned to find some kindred spirits who were keen to do magical things together and bond deeply through shared adventures. It wasn’t actually Florida, Disney World or even the Detectives Adventure Club that I cared about. Those were just possible forms so it’s important not to get overly attached to forms. They can come and go or morph continually but it is the Essence that matters.

Two questions to help you discover the Essence of your Dream:

1) What are the energies, qualities, emotions or experiences that you most wish to have from this big or small dream?

2) What are the values, principles or truths that you most wish to experience or embody from this big or small dream?

But the most wondrous thing of all is…

The essence of your Dream conveys the essence of your Soul.

Even though I was aching with loneliness throughout my school years and university years, my dream of connection revealed a powerful value that I carried. My soul held a higher concept of what friendships could be even though my actual experiences were very disappointing. The concept was sacred to me despite the loneliness I endured. My dream revealed what I really cared about and who I was even though it had not shown up yet.

You see, even before your dream is made visible, it reveals very REAL qualities about your heart, mind and soul. This is why keeping the dream ALIVE is crucial to your health and to your soul’s aliveness.

Or, another way to say it is…

if you ignore your dreams, you are ignoring your own soul!

Despite many years of betrayals, disappointments and isolation, I kept my dream of friendship alive in my heart. I could not let it die or else a deep part of my own self would have died. So I kept cultivating my capacity as a friend even if it was not appreciated or reciprocated.

Another key teaching about Dreams is that Size does NOT matter.

Big AND small dreams are all part of your Soul Map.

It is as important to heed the small dreams as it is to follow through on the big dreams. In fact, most big dreams begin with tiny steps or with small dreams that eventually ramp up.

My small dream was to meet at least one bestfriend in this lifetime and my big dream was to meet a group of soul friends to love and grow old with.

One day, after practicing many rituals of friendship without much success, I met a woman named Dhyanna at a health clinic and she was assigned as my colon hydrotherapist. (I was exploring various physical cleansing modalities and colonics was one experiment that I tried. It’s like a deep clean of your basement – AKA your intestinal tract.)

For five weeks, I received colonic cleanses and Dhyanna would massage my belly while we chatted about life. Bits of old food residues would periodically flow out of a clear tube coming out of my ass and we would both cheer as if I’d hit the jackpot. Quietly, I noted that anyone who could literally handle seeing me clear out “old shit” was a special person indeed!

(Many years later, my friend John Korsrud commented: With friends like that, who needs enemas?)

I felt such a wonderful chemistry with Dhyanna that when our sessions ended, I followed my intuition to connect with her. Boldly, I invited her to my place for dinner and to my delight, she accepted! (Throughout my life up to that point, I’d mostly experienced resistence or fear from women whom I tried to befriend.) That night, we chatted for 7 hours non-stop and we have been the deepest soul mates ever since. That was 17 years ago!!

When I met Dhyanna, my dream of finding a bestfriend came true. It had taken 19 years to materialize but it was worth the wait. And then another two years later, my bigger dream of belonging and kinship came true as I would meet THOUSANDS of kindred spirits when I became part of several amazing communities! It has been mindblowing to meet so many conscious, generous, loving, playful, creative and FUN people who have become my dearest friends, clients, students and soul mates…

Small dreams are the breadcrumbs that lead you through the vast buffet of visions, possibilities and ideas.

They let you taste the various dishes that point to the Essence of what you are seeking!

Many people cannot taste their Big Dreams because they are expecting the Ultimate Meal to suddenly show up in all its perfection. It rarely happens like that. Instead, we can sample many different dishes to refine our palate and use these flavors to discover what we truly want in Life. The constant tasting process leads us to fulfillment; it doesn’t come from one single meal or from one single dream.

So, be a connoisseur of small dreams, intuitions, urges and compulsions from your heart or inner child. Be patient with each little wish and see where they take you. Dreams don’t usually travel in straight lines…

And remember that the Essence of all your dreams, big or small, is a sacred reflection of your Soul. They are Sacred Dreams.

Because I carried the Sacred Dream of true friendship deep inside my heart, it was able to surface when the energies were aligned. When I met Dhyanna, I’d completed over five years of inner work. Then I completed another two years of personal growth before I met my communities.

And the biggest miracle was that another BIG dream came true at the same time because all our Sacred Dreams are connected. While I was doing the inner work to heal my wounds, my big dream of finding my highest calling in life became clear and I was able to step up as a guide for others. When I met my communities, I not only found true belonging and kinship, but I also began my life’s work as a teacher, mentor and spiritual muse.

When you are willing to acknowledge your most Sacred Dreams even before they materialize, your soul comes to life and becomes visible to the world. Your true self emerges even if the dream takes longer to emerge in the physical. Even your failures and losses cannot diminish your light because you are shining with life, passion and purpose!

When you KNOW what you care about, you will KNOW your own Soul.

And when people KNOW what you care about (even if you haven’t manifested it yet), they will cheer you on and they will also KNOW your Soul!

For in the end, one of the greatest purposes of your dream is to express your Soul Magic!

Your dreams, big and small, are filled with Soul Magic.

When you hold a dream in your heart, you radiate the Beauty, Meaning and Love of your soul.

So yes , big and small dreams matter.

Your soul magic is needed in this world.

Thank you for dreaming…

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